I've decided

To get my house back in order... I need to be organized and I haven't been for quite awhile now. So I got my desk cleaned and organized and I'm doing storage areas now. Taking down Christmas decor and getting that organized into the totes and put away. I like knowing where every thing is. If my house is disorganized then I feel all out of kilter. Now if the sun would shine..... J

I actually did something...

Even though I didn't feel well because of an acid reflux flare, I still got quite a bit accomplished. I worked on sorting pictures for the 2009 album. As soon as I get them sorted I'll have to lighten some and crop some. Kind of felt good to be doing something.

Did not get the thankyou cards written out though.. I plan to do that tomorrow and hopefully go to walmart too. J

Christmas is done for this year..

I'm not sorry. It was a hard season for me. They say it gets easier. I doubt it. Don't want it to be easier. Don't ever want to forget.

But I am relieved that Christmas is over. Can't say it wasn't nice. We had some very nice times visiting with family and delivering presents. We had a good Christmas day with lots of thoughtful gifts. We ate dinner out,, I didn't even have to cook. But I'm glad it's over.

I checked my albums to see which pictures I need to print to finish up 2009 picture album.... and to my amazment I have not printed one single '09 picture. So everything I did and everywhere we went and every event needs some pictures printed and put in albums.. I started by making a list.

Now I'm tired. Need to go to bed because I hopefully will go shopping tomorrow. J

Christmas Eve

I'm really cold... I'll go lay on the couch soon with my electric throw. Wanted to drive around and look at the Christmas lights but neither one of us feel that well. Everything is wrapped and it all looks merry and bright. I try.

J

Slept good

It doesn't happen often but I'm thankful when it does. Still I'm tired. I actually think the pain pills are part of the reason I'm tired all the time. Just have to learn to live with it I spose.

Today I'm washing clothes, well actually I'm done with that. And I've printed out the transfers for the t-shirts. Will iron those on in a while. Next I'm going to straighten out the freezer. It's a mess and I don''t even know what's in there.

Wanted to bake pumpkin bread but maybe not today. Want to make it sugar free so I can eat some. J

One Year

Today it's been one year since we had Kiko's memorial service. Can't believe a year has passed. The whole thing is so vivid in my mind. I have heard pain dulls, but it doesn't happen in a year I know that. And I doubt it will ever happen. I don't even want it to dull. I want it to always stay sharp, to cut to the quick as a reminder of who he was and his great capacity to care for others. My greatest sadness is that he didn't have the time to do all that he dreamed about. He didn't have the time to show the world how fantastically talented he was. I will never stop crying.

J

A better day

I had a little more energy today.. who can say why? Maybe I slept better. Maybe it's because I've cut out a lot of the junk food. Maybe it's because the pain was more under control. Whatever it was I could use a few more days like this.

Did I tell you we ordered a new mattress? That should help some too. Forgot which day it's to be delivered.

I wrapped Christmas presents today... didn't finish though.

J

I feel sluggish

The last few days I've been cooking and baking... guess what goes along with that? Yes!!! AND EATING!!! love to eat and love to cook and love to bake.

But also I'm not feeling well, not sleeping well and feel all fat and sluggish. My blood sugar has spiked and fallen and spiked again. I absolutely cannot let this get out of control. It's the one main thing I must concentrate on.

And so I've decided, beginning this morning, it's back to my good old low carb way of eating. I know I feel better when I stay away from the sweets. Even artificial sweeteners cause cravings and bingeing for me... not to mention a whole myriad of other problems. Woke up at 3:30 a.m. Had pain in all my joints. Finally just had to get up. But now of course I'm sleepy. J

I'm so slow.

Took half a day to make a pasta/chicken salad and two pies. One pie met the disposal and the other is in the fridge. Tomorrow is the family xmas potluck. Looking forward to it.

Tired tonight.

J

Going through the motions..

I have the whole inside of the house decorated.. have a tree and a pointseitta plant on the porch.. Mac will decorate in front one day this week... It will look bright and cheerful. I do like to look at the decorations but I'm still sad that Kiko isn't here to decorate and to share the joys with..

I have part of my xmas shopping done. Might finish this week,, probably not.

J