What should I write???????

I checked the guestbook for Kiko this morning and there was a new entry.... it was from a fellow who went to school with him. I was touched by his post and wrote to him...so glad he put in his contact info. I got the nicest email back from him just a while ago.. He seems so genuine. I will answer him soon. But it's very hard to write to his friends.. hard to even write anything. Hard to think sometimes, but I think all the time. Not going to change

Got a nice email from Julie today... she's very sweet. Wonder where Elena is and if she is really that upset with me. I hate having any one of my kids upset with me. Makes me sad. I wish Josh wouldn't have told mac that no one cared before he was in the service... that's not true. I've always cared. I've never forgotten a birthday or Christmas... sometimes it wasn't much but lots of times I didn't have any money at all. But I remember several years buying those boys school clothes...jackets and backpacks too. I wonder if they remember that? It was hard. I had to charge them and it took me months to pay it off. I didn't want them to not have what they needed.

I need to get some focus to my life.. need something to plan. Need to be busy. Today I sat all day and wasted it like as though I have so many.... Just can't figure what I should do. Or what I want to do.

Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow. J