No word

from the orthopedist office... I'm going over there AGAIN tomorrow and this time I'm going to tell them to put someone on it NOW. Enough is enough.. Not happy they are taking too long. I'm sorry the girl who does that had a family emergency but it's time they used someone else to do her job.. do not like waiting.

I'll lettya know what I find out... bedtime for me now. J

My tummy is

a little better... I ate a little bit of food. Still haven't been able to drink coffee.. I've done nothing again today. Have been looking at amazon.com to try and find a decent portable exercise bike.. you know the one that just has pedals and no seat.. you can also use it on the table for arm exercise.. I think that would be good. I was trying to read the reviews... hard to do. Some like this one and some don't.. who to believe? J

I just think..

It's cruel and selfish to start a fight with someone who is ill.

J

Is there a difference

Need a new knee.... but that may not happen as soon as I wanted it to..

J

ok

So I learned something... I learned an internist is a general practitioner.... I did not know that. Really I didn't. But I do know now. So I spose the doctor Jerri is going to first is gonna check her over and if he needs to have more information he will send her to an orthopedist for her arm. I was thinking they would set her up initially with an ortho doc because we told them her arm/shoulder was messed up.. but should have known they wouldnt just take our word for it. I think it's standard to go to a gen doc and then go from there based upon his/her recommendations. Also standard to have a psychological exam... so that's where we are. J

Moving right along...

Another appt for sept 14th.. this time a psychological evaluation. Still waiting for the appt for the arm.

J

Could it be?

The answer?

Jerri has an appt with the SS doctor (internist) sept 9th... it's a start. Course that has nothing to do with her arm... but it is a start.

J

Still no answers

Went to the orthopedists office but the girl who is supposed to set things up and send me the info wasn't there again. Seems she's had a family emergency so hasn't been to work this week.. so everything is on hold till she gets back I spose. If I don't hear something this week I'm going back and tell them someone else better do it... surely she's not the only one in there who can set things up. It's a big office. Lots of people work there.

Lots of other stuff too but complaining does no good. J

Wednesday

It's been a week since I saw the othopedist... should have heard something by now. I think I'll go over there this morning and find out what's up. My doctor says he hasn't gotten anything either.

Still have the problem of the car which won't sell... the ssi which are backlogged and it's anybodys guess when they'll get around to Jerri.

I have the solution

to the problems... the solution is money. Now, the next problem is how to get the money? J

You know... I remember

when I wasn't so sure of myself... when I thought I deserved the unhappiness I had. When I thought I was fat because I had no will power... when I thought I wasn't as bright or smart as other people. When I had no hope of ever being able to survive on my own.. And lots of other negatives too... like I thought I was ugly. I grew up feeling so ugly. Not many people ever told me I was pretty. I didn't have the figure, the hair the big eyes, nothing. I did not have it. I was a plain jane wallflower sit in the corner at the school dances type of person. My growing up years were not so much fun. Then I had my family... still had insecure feelings. Self esteem was at zero or below. But then something happened. I began to read and read and read. I got a computer and went online. I met people who showed me how wrong I had been. How I had let people put negative stuff in my mind.... Now I know who I am. I know there is nothing wrong with my head, my heart or my body. I am as good looking as anyone. I am worth all that I deserve... and I deserve everything. I am me. I am ok. I love me. Wheeeeeeee what a freeing feeling. J

Saturday morning

I just relisted Jerris car on Craigslist... boy I wish it would sell. Actually I wish we could get it fixed for her, but that's not possible. It's a fairly nice looking car, quiet motor... but needs a transmission, motor mounts and smogging. Too much money for us right now.

Tummy doesn't hurt so much this morning... never will I eat the double fiber english muffins again.

Blood sugar was great this morning though..

Sun is out and it was 74 degrees at 5 a.m. when I got up. Gonna be a hot one again today. Seems like we've had a lot of hot days.

J

Ooooooh...

I have a horrible tummy ache. Cramps and pains.. I will never eat double fiber english muffins again.

This is one time I'd just love to fart.

J

Ok

Lost 2.5 pounds this week.. that is not too shabby.

Went to walmart and walked around a bit... not very exciting. Still haven't learned to walk in the thongs.. no not underwear... my shoes. Flip flops or whatever you call them. Things change daily.

Easier to come up the front steps instead of the back. Two railings there to pull myself up with. Much easier actually.

I started embroidering my table top thingie yesterday.....ooops I don't have very steady hands.

J

I'd say....

by my calculations, it's time for bed. I know what the clock says. Don't care. My body says it's time and so therefore it is....

So the orthopedist says my knees are shot.......... hello. I knew that. But seriously I liked him ok and was glad he said we'd get it set up as soon as possible. I've already wasted too much time waiting for whatever. I'm thinking it will be done by mid September. Hope so.

Isn't this a grand blog?

g'nite...
J

I am so proud of me....

It was a crappy day with many things trying my patience and stressing my mind. In the recent past I would have run to the refrigerator and gobbled anything and everything in sight. Of course the day isnt over and I already know there's going to be more stress shortly... so maybe I shouldn't brag yet.. but no I will brag because I know I won't turn to food. What good would it do? Will the stress be less? Will it solve anything? Nope.

I stuck to my plan the whole day and ya know what??? I like me better for it. More respect for myself. I am strong. J

Skipped

yesterday... maybe I didn't have anything to say. Probably not. I was irritated most of the day for whatever reason. I like some quiet non moving parts of the day. I like quiet. I'm so worn out I worry about myself. Have been trying like everything to get my body, mind and health back in some sort of decent shape. I feel as though I'm working against the wind...    j

Tired.........

I think it's my bedtime.. I got up very early this morning and I walked around a lot today.. Just feel tired.

J

The 15th...

Half of this month is over... what have I done with it. Will Christmas decorations be in the stores soon? This morning I was remembering....

Kiko was so proud of the fact that I'd lost weight. Of course he always thought I could do anything. So this is giving me encouragement to get these ugly ten pounds off that I gained late last year. And also to get rid of a few more. I am determined.

Cool this morning... Going to Redding to pick up Macs glasses... then to walmart for a few things. I'm not buying many groceries until we get the freezer emptied a bit and the cupboards cleaned out. Then we'll start over. Just buying the have to's for now, like milk and veggies, that sort of thing. J

And now...

I've just finished my lunch... but before that.. I went to the store and bought veggies and some fruits. Put that stuff away and cleaned two bunches of radishes for me and the dog. Washed, peeled and cut up two cantaloupes. Got some pork out of the freezer for dinner. Washed a load of clothes for me. J

Ok

So I've had two cups of coffee... read my non email, checked the sites I always check, posted where I always post... turned off the night light, opened up the shades, turned on the table top fountain and here I am... waiting to get in to take a shower... hungry this morning. J

Thursday

Today I'll cut out the table covering and draw the pattern on the material. Will be good to get something started. I found the nicest fringe to put on the ends. Was going to look for a heavy cotton lace but then saw this fringe that matches just perfectly.

Jerri goes to the doctor today....

I couldn't believe the temperature this morning when i got up was 78... no wonder I was hot all night. It's dropped to 75 now.

My shoulder hurts.

J

Same ole.. same ole

Every morning I'm asked, "Did you sleep?"... and the asker never waits to hear my answer.. I've gotten so I answer.. "Same as yesterday.".... but what I'd really like to say is in the form of a question. When someone asks if I've slept, I'd like to say...."Did my knee get fixed?"

I should be nicer.
J

Wednesday morning

Feels cool sitting by the sliding doors. Was good to leave them open all night. It's so hot during the day but cools really good at night. I hear a train. And the sound of the quail as they make their way through the park. I like mornings. Well, I like mornings before anyone gets up. I've also found that I love to go to bed really early, close the door, put on the fans and leave only a teensy light on. Can't hear any outside noises, no television, nothing... peaceful. Don't get to do that very often.

Going to Walmart today for material to make the table runner with. And I'm not going to worry about the pound I gained.

What would taste good with a baked potato? That's on the lunch menu for today. For me, that's enough. Will pile it high with sour cream and chopped red onion. If I had cilantro I would use that with salsa. Yum. But a potato isn't enough for anyone else to eat. phooey. Maybe I'll boil hotdogs. I don't want any.... I just want the potato.

J

Too late...

I'm tired. Today seemed to be long. I did absolutely nothing. Maybe that's why it was a long day. Will do better tomorrow.. J

In a nutshell

Got the hoops... needles.... embroidery thread and some toys for the dog.. made wraps for lunch and cream of tomato soup for dinner..

Hot hot hot day today... still hot tonight. 94 now at 9 pm..

J

I love sleep

And I slept fairly good. Woke several times but managed to get in a good position and fell back asleep. Sometimes I think a person gets so tired they can sleep through anything.

Going to Redding today... want to stop at Micheals and see if anyone there knows what an embroidery hoop is. grrrr. I should have kept mine. I let myself be talked out of a lot of things at one time. Doesn't happen anymore. Maybe it's because I'm old or maybe it's because I finally know better. Whichever ....... I like me better now than I ever have before. J

A Nothing day

I did nothing today... well not quite nothing but certainly wasn't anything to brag about. I know I've been hungry today and I hate that. Must plan better tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be hard meal wise cause we're going to redding. We'll be gone I know at lunch time. Won't be able to stop and get anything so I think my breakfast should be bigger than usual... we never stop and get anything anymore cause we can't leave the dog that long.     He's a good dog.

Warmer today... warmer still tomorrow. Gonna order new sunglasses tomorrow. Want snazzy frames. Want biggish ones too that will keep more of the light out. Want new glasses to but don't need them. Just tired of the ones I have... but wont get new ones now.

Want some shoes that don't hurt my feet.

J

Forgot

You know sometimes I forget what I do... yesterday I reported a few things but then got to thinking I did a lot more than that.. yep I did. I remember I cleaned off my desk, used endust on the dining room table and my desk. Scrubbed my computer chair. Did dishes. Took the dog out a number of times. Picked up the stuff laying around. Cleaned the kitchen. Made the cauliflower salad and cleaned the fridge inside in every corner. Cut up some fresh veggies. Whatever...

I still want to make another t-shirt.. this time it's going to say.... I do what I do.. J

This day is done....

Never to return... what did I do with it? Almost nothing. Scales are up.. joy and fun. Most likely the sodium from last night.

Tomorrow is another day...want to go buy the material for the table scarf.... also want an ear of corn before the summer is gone and I haven't had any. Didn't have any last year either. Gonna do that tomorrow. That's gonna be my project. Lol Buy Corn. I don't boil it though, that just makes it tough and tasteless. I LOVE it cooked in the microwave with a few of the husks left on. Yep I'm gonna do it...

living dangerously in my old age...

J

grrrrrrrr

I worked my butt off cleaning the refrigerator, chopping up veggies and making a cauliflower salad. Pain got so bad I had to sit down for awhile. ...

J

So tired...

Slept good till about 1:30... woke up with pain in my knee. Was just starting to get comfortable when I heard the dog about to throw up. We got him up and he did throw up but just a very little bit, poor little thing. He looks at me like he can't figure out why I don't fix it.... After that I didn't go to sleep because I was listening for him... I really need one night to sleep a few more hours. Three hours doesn't do it.

The mornings seem cooler... sort of like the beginning of fall. Maybe it's just because we had a couple of not so hot days. I shudder to think cold is just around the corner. How I hate cold. I was sincerely hoping we could go to Arizona this winter, at least for the month of January. Doubt that will be possible now.

I need a table cover for the table that's below the pictures I put on the wall in the living room. Yesterday I was looking at the little cloth thingie I have on the coffee table. I made that years ago when I was working nights at the shelter. I think I should make one like it for this table. It's a very light tan,, a neutral color, reversible to brown. There's a few light yellow and white flowers embroider on it and some greenish leaves. It's not bright.. sort of muted really. Might get started on that. It's something to do. J

Ate at the casino

It's a buffet. Half price for seniors on Tuesday and Thursday.... Surprisingly the food was particualarly good.. well except for the eggplant parmesan. It was not so good.

Dog hasn't thrown up since this morning... but I still worry cause he hadn't thrown up last night since very early in the day and he still threw up in the wee hours of the morning. He drank a bit of water and ate a bit of food. We didn't give him very much.

I'm tired. Haven't been sleeping well because of the pain. Have a pretty bad pain in my ankle right now. Pain pain pain... so much non fun.

Going to bed.........J

Oh boy I'm getting concerned

Yesterday I only fed the dog some rice and cottage cheese. He seemed fine and hadn't thrown up since about 9 a.m. He played good last night and acted completely normal.

This morning at 5a.m. I was sleeping comfortable after a hellish night of being too hot and intense knee pain... when all of a sudden I felt a warm gush on my lower back. Poor doggie threw up something fierce. We had to get up, I had to jump in the shower to wash it off my back and then we had to change the bed... but now I'm worried....

Not only did the vomit contain cottage cheese and rice undigested, it also contained something reddish color. Couldn't tell if it was blood. Don't know. He's back to sleep now and seems to feel ok but I think we need to call the vet today and see what's going on. This is long enough.

I also have the strange suspicion someone might have given him some food other than the rice and cottage cheese. In fact that other person many times gives him things I don't want him to have. If in fact I find that to be the case I am going to be angry... yes I am.

J

Cooking rice...

White rice. Dog is sick. Last night he ate 3 phazyme capsules... today he's throwing up everything. Must be careful what we drop. Lots of that kind of stuff around now, plus other things that could be more dangerous.

Remember when....

We didn't have to worry about what we ate? No problems with sodium, fat, carbs or fiber? Remember when retaining fluids were something old ladies worried about?

I hate this... would rather think of something more fun... like where we're going on our Reunion 2 cruise.. heh heh heh.

J

Ok well

Not too sure about the pb2.... not too bad, but definitely not good old fashioned fat filled satisfying peanut butter.. I think it's usable and will taste good in some things.. but never will take the place of the full fat stuff.

Last night or earlier today I said I would stick to the lower fat/higher carb eating for a week more.... but when I got on the scales and saw they were up again, I had to face the facts. I simply have to go back to my low carb way of eating. Hard to do sometimes but must be done.

Going to bed now. Tired. J

Yea...

I got my PB2 in the mail today... haven't opened it or tasted it. Can't try it mixed in my yogurt cause I'm out of yogurt. And it does look sort of funny. I mean have you ever seen a powdered peanut? But I'm game to try anything. Calories are much lower than full fat peanut butter. I'll try it and letya know. J

Tomorrow is a new day

And with a new day comes a new plan... I am determined to get stronger. How? Well it won't be easy. But I've been thinking. I walked fairly well today at Costco... but I took 2/3 of a pain pill before we left. So if I do that again tomorrow I should be able to walk the same amount. At least I'm going to try. And I'm not sure counting calories is the way to go instead of carbs but I think I'll try it at least for one more week. This week, starting tomorrow I will cut out the peanut butter and the cream in my coffee. I do have some PB 2 coming in an order and will try that, but the calories are much lower than reg peanut butter. Anyway that's my new plan... walk some every day. And cut out those two foods.

J

It's really hard...

watching people sit at my table eating cookies and coffee.......... I love cookies and coffee. J

Hate doors that creak

or squeak or stick.... and our bedroom doors both do that. J.